The Scar
by BettyHT
Summary: Adam had a little scar on his upper lip. This a an explanation of how he got it.


The Scar

Easter was fast approaching and twelve-year-old Joe Cartwright couldn't wait. He wasn't a child any longer but the fun of decorating eggs and getting some rare chocolate treats was still a reason to be joyful. Easter meant no school for a week too so that made it even more special. His teacher was traveling to be with her family and wouldn't be back for seven days. Joe hoped to make the most of those days if he could convince his brother Hoss and his father to do some fun things even if the spring workload was heavy. He wouldn't even try to get Adam to do anything fun. He had been grumpy for at least a week and it seemed even longer. Joe even got out of bed before anyone called his name which was an Easter miracle in itself. He walked out into the hall dressed and ready to do his chores and met Hoss leaving his room.

"Hey, Shortshanks, what's got you all fired up this morning?"

"Hop Sing said I could help color and decorate eggs. Gonna do my chores and eat breakfast. He said we would start to work as soon as the breakfast dishes were done."

Joe and Hoss met Adam coming out of the barn when they headed that way. He was leading Sport and had his jacket on and some tools in his other hand. He put the tools in his saddlebags and mounted up.

"Chores are done. Tell Pa I'll finish the repairs to the fence up in the east pasture and then start work on that line cabin like we discussed."

With that, Adam turned his horse and rode out. Joe and Hoss stood there with nearly identical quizzical expressions. He hadn't even given them time to say thank you. He never said goodbye.

"Well, that was right friendly of our older brother to do that."

"Well he didn't have to be so grouchy about it. A smile and a goodbye would have been nice."

"Aw, c'mon now. He done our chores. How can you complain about him when he done that?"

"He's just been so grumpy lately."

"Maybe he done our chores to kinda say he was sorry about that. You know he don't say what he's feeling most of the time. You just hafta read him."

"How do you read him?"

"Well you watch how he walks or leans. You look at his eyes and his eyebrows. You watch where he puts his hands and his arms. You kinda learn what each move means so you can read him."

"Seems it would be a lot easier if he just told us."

"Don't think that's ever gonna happen. Now let's go git some breakfast."

When they told their father what Adam had done and said, he was grumpy too.

"You would think he would have some time to have breakfast with us. He hasn't sat down to a meal with us in a week. Now it's his birthday and I didn't even get to say 'Happy Birthday' to him this morning. I don't know what's wrong with that boy."

Hoss winced when he heard that. Adam was starting to hate being referred to as a boy and being introduced as 'my oldest boy' and so on. He knew too that every year, Adam got grouchy and unapproachable as his birthday neared. He said once he wished they would just forget about his birthday. His father had said that was 'ridiculous', and Adam got one of those mask faces he got whenever something was bothering him an awful lot.

"Pa, it's really Adam's birthday? Why didn't he say something? When it's my birthday, I always say something."

"Joe, Adam don't really like his birthdays."

"Why not, Hoss? I thought everybody liked birthdays. Heck I even like other people's birthdays. I thought you did too cause there's always cake?"

Hoss looked at his father and saw the shiny eyes and thought he better end this conversation soon.

"He's just don't and that's it."

"Well, I'm going to ask him why then cause I want to know."

"Joseph, you will not bother your brother with this. He has a right to think however he wishes. Is that clear?"

Joe nodded. When his Pa talked in that tone, there was no other choice except to agree. Sometimes Adam didn't and then there would be this loud argument between Adam and his Pa. He liked to be outside that room with Hoss whenever that happened. They had had a doozy of an argument like that just last year on Adam's birthday. He had not heard all that was said but he heard enough even if it didn't make much sense to him. He decided it was time to ask Hoss about it once they were clear of their father's hearing. He sent them out to chop some wood for the kitchen so it was a perfect time to ask.

"Hoss, can you explain to me what that big argument was between Pa and Adam last year on his birthday? You said you'd tell me when I was older. Well, I'm older now."

"Aww, Little Joe, I don't know ifn I oughta. You won't repeat any of this to Adam now, will ya?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Well, all right. Pa lit into Adam last year for being sad on his birthday. He said there was no reason for Adam to grieve as he had never known his mother. Pa said he had grieve just as Pa had for the other two wives he had lost, you know, our ma's but that Adam didn't know what that grief was like. Well Adam done lost it then. He got real mad. He said no of course I don't. I just feel guilty on my birthday when I see tears in your eyes and realize it's because of me. And I never got to grieve for Hoss' ma because when I did cry you said 'Don't cry, son, or you'll make me cry' so I didn't. I held it all inside and never let it out. Then when Joe's ma died, you fell apart in your grief so I couldn't grieve then either. I had to take care of the ranch and Hoss and Joe while you were wallowing in your grief.' And that's when Pa hit him, and not a slap neither but he used his fist and hit him in the mouth. Now sometimes I'd like to hit him in the mouth too but not when he's a telling me how he feels."

"Is that how Adam got that cut and that big bruise on his face?"

"Yup. Then he picked up his holster, hat, and coat, and he left, and he didn't come back for a week. Pa was mad at first and then he was worried. By the time Adam walked back in, that bruise was all green and yellow and the cut on his lip was all scabbed over but you could see it had been a bad one."

"Why didn't he get a whipping for leaving like that? If I did something like that, Pa woulda tanned me good."

"Cause Adam's a man. You don't go tanning a man. He won't stand for it."

"How old do I gotta be to be a man so Pa can't tan me no more?"

"With you, that may never happen."

Joe got a wide-eyed look at that until he saw Hoss' smirk. He would have done something about it but quickly remembered he needed to be on his best behavior so he could color eggs and so he would get his Easter treats. He could plan something to do to Hoss after Easter. Hoss ended up in the kitchen with him decorating eggs. They made a big bowl of them and set them on the dining room table. Then they watched as Hop Sing decorated a cake for Adam's birthday. They couldn't wait to taste it that night.

Joe was very disappointed though when Adam did not return before his bedtime. He was lying in bed thinking nasty thoughts about his oldest brother when he heard him ride in. He jumped out of bed and ran over to his window, and he was going to shout something at Adam to let him know how mean he was. But instead, Joe watched him dismount and drop his head against the saddle and just stand that way for a moment before he led Sport into the barn with slow steps. He remembered what Hoss had said about reading him and realized that Adam was hurt or sad. He planned to work on this because it really wasn't that hard to do. Then he heard the front door open and close and saw his Pa walking to the barn. He couldn't hear what was said, but he saw them walk out of the barn a bit later and Pa had his arm around Adam's shoulders.

Hoss tapped lightly on Joe's door. That boy slept through anything so if he was asleep, he wouldn't hear. Soon though he heard footsteps and Joe opened the door.

"Pa says if you want some, you can come downstairs and we'll have birthday cake to celebrate Adam's birthday."

Joe didn't need a second invitation. He ran down the hall and took the steps two at a time.

Ben was going to call to him to admonish him but stopped himself when Joe threw himself into Adam's arms. Adam caught him by reflex.

"Hey, little buddy, what's this all about?"

"Happy birthday, Adam. Can you play it on your guitar so we can sing it to ya?"

Adam smiled and picked up the guitar. He played and the three sang to him. Then they walked to the table. Hop Sing brought out the cake with the candles blazing and Adam blew the candles out. Hoss ate his first piece of cake so fast, he hardly had a chance to taste it, so he asked for another piece. Adam smiled again and told Hop Sing to give Hoss a big piece this time. Joe was staring at Adam and finally Adam had to know.

"Joe, what are you staring at?"

"Does it still hurt?"

"Does what hurt?"

"The scar. Does that still hurt?"

Adam looked at his father and then at Hoss.

"No it doesn't hurt at all. It's all healed now. Thank you for asking, and can I have another piece of cake before Hoss has a third piece?"

"I can have a third piece?"


End file.
